so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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