Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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