i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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