I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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