Just fell off a train. Bad.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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