This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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