East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
