who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
