wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
