Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
