So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize