Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
