I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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