I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
