i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
