bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
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You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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