i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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