You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize