Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
