I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
