This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
