i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
