i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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