Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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