His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
