are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
