The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
COCAINE IS GR8
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
