piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we made out on top of his cat.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
