I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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