I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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