So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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