you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
