do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am naked and annoyed.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
