but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
