Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
