Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
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You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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