I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
