that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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