remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The Olympian is in my bed
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
