My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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