So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
