It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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