I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
