I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
