she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize