No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
