um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
