these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize