just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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