I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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