If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
