how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
