He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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