Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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