We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
