so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
